


Bloodied Chances

by Shizuku749



Category: Wolf's Rain
Genre: Can't get the gain without any pain yo, Even if it doesn't seem like it at first I promise it'll get there, Gen, Hige isn't as dumb or unobservant as some in the old world might have thought, I headcanon that Toboe has severe PTSD when it comes to guns after how he died in the old world, Like 17-18 compared to my imagined Hige's 19-20 just FYI, Paradise Pack feels, Precious complicated babes all of them, These boys deserved better so I'm gonna give it to 'em in this new world God damn it, They WILL find Paradise this time if it fucking kills ME (not them - please not them again GOD), This pack man, Toboe and Tsume mean so much to each other and it KILLS ME, Toboe is a precious guilty hopeful babe and I love him, Toboe is older in this new world btw 'cause reincarnation, Tsume is a damn good second-in-command TYVM
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2020-04-05 00:30:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19037158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shizuku749/pseuds/Shizuku749
Summary: -Post-series.- When the world resets this time around, the Paradise Pack remember each other and the old world. They’re more determined than ever to find Paradise together, no matter what.But as Toboe will soon find out, noteveryoneremembers.





	1. Bloodied Chances

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone! This is my first time posting anything on AO3, though I've been reading fics here for a few years. I know it's a pretty dead fandom, but I recently rewatched the series twice in the span of three days for the first time in almost a decade and was overtaken by feels! Originally, this first chapter was meant to be part of an RP with a friend, but she didn't answer for so long and I was so intrigued by it, I decided I HAD to give my boys a happy ending on my own - or at least the start of one! Haha!
> 
> Hope you enjoy! (There are a few notes at the bottom for anyone who might be confused on a few things, including some headcanons I have! ;))

Toboe is lost in thought as he walks through this town's back alleys. He'd left before the others woke up, nightmares and memories from the world before alternately waking and keeping him awake. He's so happy to be with his pack again, and he knows he shouldn't go off by himself (memories of himself telling Tsume the same thing echo in his mind), but he just…needed some space to think.

It figures that train of thought would be the thing to get him in trouble.

Turning a corner, he stops dead. No…it can't be! "P-Pops?" He blinks, rubs his eyes, blinks harder. No…it is…! A slow, wide smile springs to his face. "Mr. Yaiden! I'm so glad you and Blue are—!"

Quicker than he can blink, the man is raising his gun, a crazed look in his eye, Blue growling at his side. Toboe wants to step back, but he's frozen. Memories of how he died in the old world flood his head, make it pound, his heart going crazy in his chest. Harsh tremors surge through his body, and he can scarcely breathe. "W-what are you doing? D-don't you recognize me?" The man just glares harder. Toboe can smell the ever-present alcohol on his breath, and Blue just growls louder. His eyes flick to hers, but he doesn't see any recognition there either. "I-it's Toboe! From the old world, remember?" He raises shaking hands. "I-it's okay! I-I-I'm not gonna hurt you!"

_BANG!_

A pained cry-howl pierces the air along with the gunshot, and the next thing Toboe knows, he's down on the ground, a bullet having gone straight through his left shin. He clutches the wound with a yelp and a hiss, trying to stem the bleeding, watching the two with one eye squeezed shut from the pain. "W-why are you doing this?! I don't understand! Can't you see me? D-don't you remember  _anything_?!"

Quent growls, the sound almost animalistic in itself. He doesn't know if he should find it ironic. Blue is pulling on her leash at his side, hateful fire in her eyes, too. Toboe's heart sinks even further, particularly as the man walks steadily closer. "The only thing I see is a demon who's about to be purged from this earth!"

A shuddering shiver runs down Toboe's spine, flinching when Quent cocks his gun, and he tries to back away, to get up and run. But he happens to come down on some broken glass, cutting his hand deeply, and there's no way his leg is getting him anywhere in this condition. He's trapped like a dying fish in a barrel. There's nowhere for him to run, no one to help him get out of this. Quent steps up to him at last, pressing his gun to his forehead and forcing him back until it indents on his skin and Toboe's head digs into the cobblestones. He shivers at the cool metal against his flesh, or maybe at what it means. A reflexive whimper escapes as the safety comes off, a few traitorous tears he can't hope to keep back drifting down his cheeks.

He didn't learn a  _damn_  thing from his past life, it seems. He was stupid and selfish. He has no one to blame but himself.

He can hear the trigger mechanism pulling. He's going to die. Again.

He squeezes his eyes shut, braces himself as best he can.  _I'm sorry, Tsume…_

_HOWL!_

_SNARL!_

_CLAMP!_

Toboe's eyes snap open. In a flash of speed and snarls, an utterly  _ferocious_  Tsume is tackling Quent away from Toboe, the gun clattering to the ground. Blue tries to rush Tsume, but a streak of white —  _Kiba!_  — bowls her over, keeping her at bay farther down the alley. Toboe is still grappling with the fact that he's  _alive_ , that this isn't some near-death experience fever dream. But in the next moment, a gunshot sounds that sends Toboe into another silent panic, and it's at least enough to confirm that he's alive. Oh, thank Paradise for his pack…!

"-oboe!  _Toboe_! Speak to me, damn it! Are you all right?!"

Tsume is shaking him roughly by the shoulders, though he clearly doesn't  _want_  to from the expression on his face. It's the only way he had left to get his attention besides the shouting, which he's only now hearing. Toboe gasps suddenly like he's just remembered to breathe (and with that panic attack, maybe he is), and he looks from an unscathed Tsume to a beaten-unconscious Quent, then back, breathing heavily. Collapsing against his chest, he wraps weak arms around him, hugging him as tightly as he can. Tsume's arms immediately come around him in turn, relieved-as-hell and ever-shielding. "H-he didn't remember me…!" he tells him softly, voice haunted and sick. "H-he tried to—! If you hadn't come…!" A whimper escapes, and he almost gags. "Blue doesn't know us either! I-I don't think she remembers she's—!"

"That doesn't matter now. What does is you've been shot, and we have to get out of here." Kiba's concerned, hurried, but somehow still firm and collected voice breaks in, and Toboe jumps a millisecond, tightening his hold on Tsume, before he recognizes it. He looks down at his leg, blinking at the sizable blood pool underneath him. Oh, right. He'd almost forgotten about that. That could also explain the dizziness and exhaustion he's only now noticing, how cold he is. He doesn't realize he's been shivering with more than just relief and fear for a minute yet.

Tsume swears when he sees his leg, more at how much blood he's lost, and he picks up Toboe quickly, but with a tenderness that makes Toboe feel warm despite the goosebumps along his skin. He curls into Tsume's chest a little more, weak, trembling hands fisting in his familiar leather jacket. "Don't worry, kid. You'll be just fine." He sounds like he's trying to convince himself of that along with Toboe, but the pack's youngest doesn't say anything. He trusts Tsume to keep him safe.

The next thing he knows, they're jumping from rooftop to rooftop, but Toboe's only getting bits and pieces. His vision's blurring, turning black from time to time, he's seeing stars, and Tsume must notice he's slipping because his eyes are widening and he's shouting at him. Toboe can't make out the words, but it's probably something about don't fall asleep, to stay with him, expression getting more frantic as Toboe tries to fight a losing battle. Kiba is in his line of sight in the next moment, probably trying to calm Tsume and spur him on at the same time, and Toboe swears he  _does_  feel Tsume pick up the pace even more. He's no doubt pushing himself past his limits while not giving a damn. Heh… Typical…Tsu…me…

" _Toboe_!"

Everything goes black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toboe is not dead! Just so no one jumps down my throat early! lol. Other notes:
> 
> Tsume is in his true wolf form when he attacks Quent, by the way. I didn't know how to make that clear organically, so I hoped clarifying Kiba's wolf form would make up for it.
> 
> (Made this a tag, too, but just in case:) I also personally headcanon that, in the new world, given how he died, Toboe has PTSD about guns/gunshots. Hence his little panics here!
> 
> And if you're wondering how the wolves found each other in this new world (especially when, in my head, they didn't even remember who the others were), I promise I'll address that! It's already written up, in fact (part of that RP starter I mentioned, lol)! Not for a few chapters, though! I have a plan, don't worry!
> 
> I'd love to know what you think of this! First time writing for this beloved series, so I hope I did all right! Thanks for reading!


	2. Pack Dynamics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting Toboe back is child's play. Figuring out how to fix him up is anything but. Meanwhile, with Blue semi-back in the picture, Hige's loyalties are questioned...
> 
> Delving into the pack dynamics in this new world!

Tsume and Kiba make it back to their abandoned corner alley in record time, Tsume actually beating Kiba by a good few seconds. Hige, having stayed behind in case Toboe came back before the others found him, is rushing for them even before they touch down. He's been silently freaking out since his sensitive nose picked up the scent of Toboe's blood—a lot of it—from several blocks away.

"Toboe!" He reaches toward him on instinct, but his hand stills and he gasps, eyes widening and face paling, at the sight of the kid's leg and the fact that he's unconscious. Worried, angry eyes fly up to the others. "W-what the hell happened?! Who did this?!"

Tsume, glaring at the ground, growls angrily, his hold on Toboe tightening protectively. Mostly to keep his temper in check. "That old man happened! Blue's geezer!" He tries not to want to kick Hige's ass at how his eyes light up at the mention of his old world mate. His nostrils flare. "He didn't remember us, and Blue didn't either! She doesn't remember or maybe even know she's half-wolf in this world, not that any of it makes any difference to me! If that bastard weren't so important to Toboe, I  _swear_ —!"

Kiba's hand on Tsume's arm is the only thing that makes him stop short. "I understand, Tsume, believe me, but we can't afford to focus on that right now. Toboe's still bleeding pretty badly, and his wound might get infected or worse if we don't do something soon." He squeezes his arm tightly, its meaning clear and grounding, his voice softening just enough. "He needs us. So let's be there for him. We'll worry about the old man and Blue later. All right?"

Tsume, eyes never leaving Toboe, seems to wrestle with his fury and need for vengeance for a few moments before he squeezes his eyes shut and lets out a rough sigh. Opening them, some of the tension bleeds from his shoulders, but only just. He's tired, already emotionally drained from this. Kiba can see it in his eyes. Maybe this is why they didn't remember their past lives before, he thinks. It would've been too painful. "All right. Help me get him comfortable."

Kiba can't help but smile softly at that. He remembers a time when Tsume wouldn't have let him touch  _him_ , let alone trusted Kiba enough to let him ( _request_ ) help with an injured Toboe. He really has changed for the better, and so much of it he owes to the boy in his arms.

They move to their sizeable makeshift lean-to in the cleanest part of the alley, laying Toboe on a brushed-clean sheet inside, Tsume taking off his jacket to cushion his head. Kiba's pretty sure it's the first time he's ever seen Tsume without it. He just has a gray tank top (more of a crop top, really) underneath. Hige still hasn't moved or said anything, but he's probably just trying to figure out how he feels about losing Blue. Tsume doesn't care. Like Kiba said, later. Once he hears the change in breathing from Toboe in settling, the second-youngest wolf shakes himself. He jerks his thumb toward the town's center. "Y-you guys stay here with the runt! I'll go get us some supplies! Be right back!"

"Sure! Lay low, and be careful!" Kiba calls, and he doesn't have to see Hige's nod to know he heard. He hurries off as quickly as he can, disappearing into the shadows. Tsume watches him go, too, gaze lingering even after he's gone with lips drawn in a thin line.

While he's distracted, Kiba works on tearing off what scraps are left of Toboe's ruined pant leg and then lifting the leg itself to inspect the wound as carefully as he can. Toboe winces a little in his sleep, breath hitching, making Kiba freeze, but Tsume is quick to run surprisingly gentle fingers through his hair. "Don't worry, kid. It's just us. We're trying to fix you up. We'll do what we can for the pain." Toboe seems to calm at that, leaning into his touch, and Tsume doesn't bother trying to hide his fond, if guilty, smile. Kiba sees, though he pretends not to notice for Tsume's sake, not wanting to embarrass him. Not that he thinks it would anymore with all the growing he's done, but still.

It's quiet for several moments while Kiba takes note of as much as he can, and when he's done, he lets his human guise fall away for now. Taking a breath to brace himself, he starts licking away the blood that's stained the boy's skin. A heartbeat, two, and then, cautiously, 'Do you want to get his wound or should I?' He's honestly not sure Tsume would want any part of it (he's become incredibly sensitive to the taste of any of their blood after…well…), but because it's Toboe and he knows the other wolf still feels incredibly guilty about not being able to help or save the boy in the last world, he wants to give him the  _choice_. He knows Toboe would want that, too.

But it seems he doesn't need to ask at all – Tsume's made the decision on his own. Kiba blinks, and Tsume, in his own true form, is already setting out to very carefully do just that. His feather-gentle licks still make Toboe moan and whimper some, toss and turn his head, but that's to be expected, and Tsume makes sure to nuzzle his leg and rumble soothingly, even lick Toboe's hand, every now and then to try to keep him calm. He hates causing the kid pain, but if it helps him heal and wake up faster, hell, he'll do just about anything.

They spend the next ten minutes working, and then, when they've done all they can, they replace their human forms so Kiba can tie off the makeshift sheet-bandage. It's not the best job in the world, but it'll do to keep it clean and hopefully staunch the bleeding until Hige brings back something more substantial. Hopefully, that's not too far off.

"So," Kiba's eyes flick up to Tsume, not even batting an eye at the fact that the man's holding a more relaxed Toboe's hand, "you think he's really going to get help or out looking for Blue instead?"

_He_. Hige.

Kiba sighs through his nose. He knew this was coming, but it's not like he hadn't considered the same thing himself, at least at first. They've forgiven him for everything he did to those other wolves in the old world, of course – it wasn't his  _fault_  – but in this situation, it makes sense that Tsume might be worried. Both for Toboe  _and_  Hige. They don't need  _two_  packmates down (or worse). "Hige can be…complicated, but even he wouldn't go after those two right now. He has to know Blue and that old man wouldn't leave while there are wolves in this city, especially one he's wounded. They'll be looking for us, and mostly likely, with our luck, we'll cross paths again. Besides, don't forget, he loves Toboe, too, Tsume. I don't believe he'd intentionally do anything that could mean losing him again."

Tsume's tense body relaxes some at that answer, eyes and expression losing some of their sharpness. Kiba relaxes a bit, too, giving him a soft smile. He thinks, most likely, Tsume already mostly came to that conclusion himself, but he needed to hear it from someone else to confirm it. It's relieving for both of them, really. Like he said in the old world: once Hige tries to kill them outright, they'll fight, but not before. Until then, Hige's pack, and they're going to Paradise. That's all.

For all of that, though, Tsume's still looking pale, more and more since cleaning Toboe's wound. "Are you all right?"

In the end, Tsume does get sick, as Kiba figured he would. He tries to keep it as quiet as he can, but there's only so much he can do. Thankfully, Kiba pretends he didn't hear a thing by the time he comes back, paying no mind to his small stumble and the slight tremor in his limbs. He gets it. He really does. While he was gone, Kiba spent that time taking stock of Toboe's condition. He's lost a lot of blood, obviously, but his makeshift bandage thankfully seems to be holding all right for now. He's barely stirred or made a sound since passing out, which has Kiba worried. He's not sure if it's because of the shock of everything or the blood loss, maybe both, but he hopes he at least wakes up after they get him treated properly. He doesn't really know what they'll do if he doesn't. If it was like before, maybe they could take him to Cher or Hubb, but…they haven't met them yet in this world, don't know if they'd remember the pack or if it'd just end up with something like this again. Kiba really, really hopes they don't have to resort to that. He doesn't (want to) know how Tsume would take seeing Toboe in such a bad way…

He relays all of this to Tsume (except the last part, of course), wanting to hear his opinion. He knows more about humans than he does, after all. "Honestly, I did my damndest to never pay them too much attention, distancing myself like I did." Now, Tsume almost wishes he had, stormy eyes fixed on Toboe. "Ironically, the one who knows the most about humans and could probably help us the most is the one who needs our help…" Tsume's thumb absently runs along Toboe's knuckles, and he sighs roughly, resting his head back against the wall and closing his eyes in frustration. "As Hige would say, 'This whole thing  _sucks_.'"

Kiba huffs a laugh, an amused smirk coming to his face. It feels good, honestly, in light of things. "Never thought I'd live to see you quote our resident bottomless pit."

Tsume smirks and laughs right back, opens his mouth to reply, before he suddenly straightens and looks toward the entrance. Footsteps, quick ones. That scent. Hearing and smelling it, too, Kiba readies himself to move. A second later, a breathless Hige races inside, carrying all kinds of medical supplies in a simple cloth bag. Thrusting it toward Kiba, he leans on his knees while he catches his breath. "Sorry…I took so long…! Couldn't nab it all…in one place…! Too many humans…! Had to be careful…keep suspicion off our backs…!"

Inspecting everything, Kiba smiles widely, relief flooding him. "This is perfect!" He reaches up to ruffle Hige's hair, the younger wolf leaning into the surprising, affectionate touch eagerly. "Great job, Hige! We should have enough for a few days and then some!"

Hige beams and flushes some at the praise, swiping modestly along the bridge of his nose. "That was the plan! Just in case we have to move the kid before he's better, too." Dropping to his knees at Toboe's side, he sets a light hand on his chest. At least his heartbeat and breathing still seem okay. "So how's he doin'? You know, considering?"

Tsume is the one to answer, pushing a few rusty strands of Toboe's hair from his forehead. "He's fighting. That's the important thing." His golden gaze moves to Hige, who's smiling at him warmly, almost teasingly, but it's too soft to be that, and he finds himself softening, too, maybe even flushing faintly, though he'd never admit it. "Thanks, Hige."

He nods, grinning toothily. "Hey, this is Toboe we're talkin' about here! He's like our little brother! Gotta look out for 'im, right?"

Kiba was right.  _He_  was right, too, really. He had nothing to worry about at all. Hige wouldn't leave them,  _Toboe_ , in the lurch like that. Not like this. Thank goodness.

"Right."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading, as always! I'd love to know what you think!


	3. Patchwork

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pack works together to patch Toboe up as best they can, themselves, too, in the process. But they're not out of the woods yet. Not by a long shot...

Letting them talk, Kiba does his best to set out everything he thinks they'll need for now on the clean bag. Realizing he's severely unqualified for this particular job, though, he turns to his packmates. "I don't…know what to do with this," he admits, only a little bit sheepish. "Do you?"

Tsume looks annoyed and disgusted with himself. He  _really_  wishes he'd paid more attention to his human underlings in the old world… "N-not really, no..."

Hige crosses his arms and hums as he thinks back, closing his eyes in concentration. "Actually…I might know a thing or two. There were always kids getting hurt in Freeze City, and if it was bad enough, their moms always cleaned and bandaged their wounds with stuff like this. I can't be that bad, at least." He holds out his hands to Kiba. "Let me give it a shot." Sensing their hesitation, he pouts and holds up his hands in his own defense. "Hey, it's better than what you two're offering, right? We gotta do something." A moment later, he sighs softly through his nose and reasons, "Look, I'm not gonna do anything crazy. Hell, you know I wouldn't hurt the kid if my life depended on it." He reaches out again. "Come on, trust me."

Tsume and Kiba lock eyes. This really is the best shot they have, and nervous about these supplies or not, they trust Hige, and they can't let Toboe get worse. They are  _not_  losing him again.

Handing over a clean cloth and 'the clear stuff that smells like cleaning supplies' (hydrogen peroxide) as requested, Hige goes about quickly and carefully cleaning around the wound, just to be safe. He winces whenever he causes Toboe any pain, but Tsume gently shushes the boy and holds his hand tighter, and Toboe always calms and leans toward the sound of his voice. Kiba and Hige silently can't help but think it's freakin' adorable.

While pouring the hydrogen peroxide on a clean cloth, Hige warns, "This stuff bubbles up in the worst wounds and makes the kids cry, so it'll probably be painful for him. But from what I heard the moms tell their kids, it keeps it from getting infected and kills anything that might be trying to attack it already, so it's really important." Looking down at Toboe, adoring pride lights his eyes. "The runt's strong, though. He can handle it for sure." Glancing over, he suggests with an encouraging smile, "Hey, Kiba, maybe you should hold his other hand. I'm sure that'll make him feel better."

Kiba blinks, the lightest of unsure-yet-touched blushes on his face, but he nods and goes along with it anyway. He'll do anything to make their youngest feel better. Toboe, sensing his presence, turns his head halfway toward him and seems to relax that much more. Kiba, despite his usual stoic demeanor, all but melts. "It'll be okay, Toboe," he tells him quietly. "We're right here with you."

Positioning the doused towel on the backside of Toboe's wound, wincing when Toboe hisses lightly at even that, Hige cautions, "I don't know how he'll react once it really starts hurting. All the human kids were different. But with a wound like this, we might have to hold him down." A heartbeat, swallow. "Here goes."

The clear liquid splashes all around the wound, moves inside and straight through, soaking the towel underneath with blood and white foam and a horrible stench. Toboe immediately cries out, jerking his leg away on reflex, trying to pull away from the hands holding his, gritting his teeth and clawing at them lightly, but Tsume and Kiba just hold on tighter with both of theirs. Hige keeps hold of his leg, grimacing at what he's seeing with the injury. He thinks he might be sick. "K-keep holding him! Once it stops bubbling, I'll have to rinse it with this stuff that smells like seawater. Then maybe this stuff again if it's still in danger of being infected, but I hope not. If we do, hopefully it's just one more time."

Tsume and Kiba do their best, Hige watching the wound closely. Toboe whimpers and almost sobs, then does, a few pained tears running down his face. Tsume can  _feel_  his heart breaking, gritting his teeth and growling low in his throat. He  _hates_  this. "Damn it, Hige, how much longer?!" he demands, doing his best not to shout for Toboe's sake, but his patience is wearing thin. It feels like they're  _torturing_  the poor kid!

"Just a few—! There!" Hige says, sighing in relief and wiping some sweat from his brow. "It's stopped for sure now." Taking a breath, he picks up the saline solution and looks between the two of them. "We can give him a breather for a minute or we can keep going, rip it off all at once like a Band-aid. This shouldn't burn, I don't think, at least not much, but I don't know if we'll have to use the other stuff again. What d'ya wanna do?"

Tsume's gut twists at the idea of causing Toboe any more pain, but he doesn't want to draw it out either. A shaky exhale. "All at once." His eyes flick to Kiba. "Fearless leader?" There's a hint of mirth in his voice despite the situation.

Kiba gives him a deadpan look. "I'm not the leader, Tsume. We don't have one, remember? And I'm certainly not fearless." Something inside Tsume softens at that. That in itself is proof this isn't the old world. Back there, at least in the beginning, Kiba would have said he wasn't afraid of anything, not even dying. Now...his biggest fear is losing his friends. Again. A heartbeat. "But I'm with Tsume. Rip it off."

Hige nods. "Good. That was my instinct, too." Getting ready to pour, he stares hard at Toboe. "You can do this, kid. Here we go."

This liquid, like Hige said, is much gentler than the last, something they're all grateful for. Toboe still grinds his teeth and whimpers a bit, holding their hands a little tighter, but it's most likely from the strange sensation and sensitive area than pain. Unfortunately, Hige doesn't like the look of some white-yellow stuff gathering a little inside the wound, so he picks that away as best he can and then frowns sadly over at Toboe. "We gotta do the other stuff one more time. That stuff I just picked off might mean an infection's already attacking him, but if we kill it now, it should be okay." Unscrewing that bottle, he strokes Toboe's knee. "Sorry, buddy. Hang in there. This should be the last time." He hopes.

This time, as he thought it might be, the screaming is worse, sticks around, and Toboe's fingernails, flickering between them and his real claws when he starts to lose control to his pain and panic, draw blood as they dig into Kiba and Tsume's flesh. They barely feel a thing, though, concentrating on keeping Toboe calm, particularly as the screaming mixes with howling. Even Tsume's having some trouble soothing him this time. The sound of his howl-cries and sobs and the sight and smell of his twisted expression and tears kill them all, but there's nothing else they can do. They  _have_  to do this. If they don't…well, they don't want to think about it. They  _won't_  think about it. They  _refuse_.

Finally, the bubbling stops after concentrating where Hige saw the icky new stuff before, and Toboe is leagues better for the saline solution afterward. Once Hige dries the area around the wound, keeping the injury itself moist, he applies a smooth gauze pad to protect it and then secures it with rolled gauze.

Kiba and Tsume wait on bated breath for him to finish, Tsume busying himself by wiping away Toboe's tears. "Sorry, runt…" he whispers, hating that they had to hurt him to help him. But he knows Toboe would be grateful,  _and_  he knows he'd do it again in a heartbeat if it meant saving the kid's life.

Finally, there's a heavy sigh of relief. "Okay…" Hige breathes, wiping more sweat from his brow. He turns to them with a tired smile. It feels like he can breathe again. "That should do it for now. We'll have to keep an eye on him, just in case, but with any luck, he'll be able to heal fine from here on out. Hopefully, he'll wake up soon, too."

Squeezing Hige's shoulder, Kiba smiles over at him, gratitude shining in his eyes. "Thank you, Hige. That was amazing. Way better than anything I could've done."

Tsume nods, the warmth in his expression, mostly his eyes, catching Hige off guard for a moment. "Same here. Thanks, Hige." His eyes drift to Toboe, now soundly-sleeping, sweeping sweaty bangs from his forehead with gentle fingers. "Maybe now the kid can get some real rest and come back to us."

Hige blinks at the praise for a minute before beaming, a happy pink tinting his cheeks. He nods emphatically. "H-hey, no problem! I just hope it was enough, never mind right! I'm goin' off memory alone here," he chuckles, rubbing the back of his head with a sheepish smile, "and from a past life, at that…"

Gesturing toward Toboe's bandaged leg while he tidies up the workspace and sanitizes his hands, just in case, he says, "We'll have to change the dressing often to keep away any chance of infection, especially if we see or smell any signs that it might be wearing out, but this should hold for a while." He exhales again, still relieved, scratching his cheek. "Honestly, I'm just glad it's not something  _more_  serious. I don't really know anything about herbs or treating  _really_  deadly things like Toboe or the humans might."

Then, that reminding him of something, he snaps his fingers. "Oh, that's right! He clawed your hands, right? Did he get you too deep? I can patch those up while I'm at it, if ya want…"

* * *

 

Hours later, with Toboe still sleeping soundly and his dressing changed once, Tsume and Kiba duck out to go get some air and find some food. Tsume doesn't want to leave Toboe, outright refuses at first, but Kiba and Hige manage to convince him ("Come on, Tsume, you know Toboe wouldn't want you worrying yourself sick! How upset do you think he'd be if he found out you didn't even take care of yourself while he was out?" – "He has a point, Tsume. You know Toboe doesn't like making you worry. He'll be fine with Hige for the few minutes we'll be gone. If anything happens, Hige can call for us." – "…Fine… But  _only_  a few minutes. Any longer, and you'll find your own way back." – "Sure. Now let's go").

Not surprisingly at all, they're back in record time. They spread the food between the three of them until they've had enough (making sure to save some for Toboe, of course, just in case he wakes up hungry), and after some additional guilting on Kiba's part (for Tsume's own good, he swears), the oldest wolves bask in the moonlight to gain back some of the strength they've lost today.

It's comfortably cool and quiet and oddly peaceful. It's…pretty nice, actually, Tsume admits to himself.

_WHOOSH!_

Hearing the sudden rush from behind them, both wolves immediately turn to see Hige in the doorway of the lean-to, the panic on his face making all the hairs on the back of their necks stand on end.

"Guys, I think something's wrong with Toboe!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Please_ note that, while the medical advice for this chapter is not what you should do in a _regular_ situation when you have access to clean water and the like, I figure, since this is a post-apocalyptic world, they might not have access to what they _would_ need, so would need to make do.
> 
> Also, while Toboe is shown to be the most adept at healing in the show, Hige seems to be pretty observant and something of a people-watcher, at least in Freeze City, so I thought he might make the most sense for the next-best (at least first aid?) healer. If you have any thoughts on that or anything else, would love to hear your feedback!
> 
> Thanks for reading, as always!


	4. A Flash in the Pan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toboe gets worse before he gets better, and a watchful Tsume and Hige remember almost-friends and battle old demons while they wait for Kiba to get back with supplies.

They're on their feet and inside faster than they can blink.

True to Hige's word, Toboe doesn't look good. He's sweating and shivering at the same time, and his skin is flushed and much hotter to the touch than it was before. Kiba tries to touch him, brush his bangs from his forehead to make him more comfortable, but he yanks his hand back almost immediately. "H-he's hot! Really hot! Like he's burning from the inside out!" Watching and listening closely, on bated breath, Toboe's heartbeat and breathing are quicker and shallower, too. Like he told them before, Kiba doesn't know much at all about this stuff, always letting the moonlight take care of anything physical, but right now, he wishes he did. "W-what is this? Is it his wound? Hige, is it infected?"

Hige shakes his head vehemently. "It—it can't be! We just checked and re-bandaged it two hours ago, it all looked and smelled fine!" Just in case, though, he does check it, and he breathes a sigh of relief. "His wound's fine. No gross yellow-white stuff like before either. Should be a good sign, right?"

The others can't really say. Kiba purses his lips. "Well, if it's not an infection, do either of you know what else this could be?"

"M-…-maybe…" Hige answers, though he doesn't look sure as he watches their youngest worriedly, "…but I'm not a doctor or expert either. It's—I haven't really seen anything like this up close…"

Tsume's been quiet the whole time, watching Toboe with a beyond-worried expression mixed with barely-controlled rage brewing beneath the surface. He  _wishes_  this was something he could fight—something he could bite and claw and  _kill_  with his own fangs. But as much as he hates it, the fact of the matter is, he can't, and Toboe needs him, so for now, he takes a deep breath and does his best to push that aside. He closes his eyes and thinks back. Something about this feels familiar…

Then, it hits him, and he lifts his head. "A fever," he murmurs.

Kiba and Hige snap toward him, the younger's eyes narrowed and head titled. "A wha—?"

"A fever," Tsume repeats, louder this time in turning to them. "That's what the humans called it in the old world, at least. One of my—the younger humans working for me got sick once after a fight gone wrong, and it was just like this." He thinks for a moment, his eyes going far away. "If I remember right, they kept him warm with a lot of blankets and put cloths soaked in water on his forehead. They made sure he drank a lot of water and ate a little—soup, I think, some bread dipped in it when he was a little better." At the incredulous looks he's receiving, he stiffens, then glares a bit, hoping the dark hides his light blush. " _What_?" he growls.

Kiba keeps his gaze steady, but Hige looks away and holds up his hands innocently. "Nothing! You just seem to remember a lot for someone who 'never paid attention!'"

There's the smallest edge of teasing to his voice, and if he's honest with himself, Tsume can't say their confused curiosity is undeserved. It's just… Looking away, his voice lowers. "It was a boy, not much older than Toboe was back in the old world." Gehl. "He's the one who…fell from the roof that night…the night I met you three… I tried to catch him, but…I bit him instead, and he…" He doesn't need to explain any more. Things are making more sense now, a whole lot more. Why he was so quick to drop everything to save Toboe the night they escaped, why Toboe didn't flinch from his saving bite-hold, why Tsume came with them in the end…

It really was all because of Toboe.

Kiba breaks the thoughtful silence that's settled. "We understand. You don't have to say any more." He smiles gently, proudly. "Thanks, Tsume. You're a lifesaver." Looking toward Toboe, he asks, "You said soaked towels and blankets, right?"

"Yeah. That's what I remember, anyway. It seemed to work for Gehl, but…he was human. I don't…"

"It can't hurt to try," Kiba presses. "For now, Toboe looks human, and instinct be damned, he'd probably have a worse shot in our true forms, so I say we do it."

Immediately shucking off his jacket, he drapes it over Toboe. Following his lead, Hige does the same, then grabs a spare clean cloth. They only have a little bit of water left, but not a single one of them minds sacrificing their shares for this. Placing it gently on his forehead after carefully moving his bangs out of the way, they're all relieved to see that Toboe looks a little more comfortable. Thank Paradise.

Hige looks over. "We don't have any blankets, and that was the last of our water. We're gonna need something a little easier on his stomach than what we had for dinner, I'd guess. Maybe that, uh…'soup' and some bread like Tsume talked about?"

Tsume himself looks conflicted about leaving Toboe again, especially now that he's like this. Kiba doesn't think they're going to be able to convince him this time. "I'll go find what we need. You two stay with him."

"Whoa, what? Kiba, come on! Even you can't carry all that by yourself!" Hige tries to reason, Tsume staring hard at him, too. But they know that look on his face…

"Then I'll make a few trips. Toboe needs you right now to make him feel safe, Tsume, and Hige, you're our backup healer." He flashes them a small smile, already backing up toward the opening to eliminate room for argument. "I'll be back soon. Howl if you need me."

In a turn of heel and flash of white, he's gone. It's getting a little late, when most people would be home by now, but the shops here stay open later than most other towns they've come across, so he shouldn't have much to any trouble finding what they need. Before, Toboe told them the birds in this town said it's because of some kind of old-days crop cycle the townspeople haven't dropped yet. The wolves thought it was strange at the time, but they're grateful as hell for it now. They don't want to think about what they would've done otherwise.

Hige sighs, but there's a good-natured grin on his face. "Well, there goes our stubborn leader. Again." His gaze flicks to Tsume. "Don't tell 'im I said that, okay? Any time anyone calls him the leader, he looks like he's constipated or plotting our deaths or something." Attention drifting to Toboe again, his smile falls. Hating how he's shivering and his clothes are damp with sweat, he moves to push aside their jackets and unbutton the boy's shirt before hesitating. "You said he's overheating and freezing at the same time, right? Should we…keep him covered or air him out?" he asks, turning to Tsume. He doesn't want to do the wrong thing and accidentally make the kid worse.

Tsume, having settled on Toboe's other side and taken his hand like it's second nature, ignoring its clamminess, hates what he has to say next. He's sure it shows on his face, too. "Keeping him warm is crucial. Something about…letting the fever burn itself or whatever it's fighting out of his system, I think."

Hige wrinkles his nose. "That sounds awful…" He wants to ask if there's a better way, but he knows Tsume would have led with that if there were.

"It was," the older wolf replies quietly. Hige glances at him, surprised by the guilt and grief in his voice, and Tsume looks far away again, eyes fixed on Toboe. He must be remembering that kid from the old world again. "He was just a kid. Part of me wanted to help, but…around him, there was something… I couldn't control myself. I'd lose focus and show my true form if either of us touched each other." He huffs a laugh, smirking a bit. "It pisses me off a little, but you know, the only time I actually held it together was when I punched him to save him from Kiba when we first met and the half-dead idiot was killing every human who came near him." Taking the cloth from Toboe's forehead for a moment to wipe the sweat from the kid's face and neck before putting it back, Tsume sobers. "Maybe it's because he was the youngest of us. Maybe it's because he trusted me—" for the most part, anyway, until that last moment; Tsume tries not to think about that, "—reminds me a lot of the runt. But something... _hurt_  in me, watching Gehl suffer like that. I guess, that one time, even if I didn't realize it until now, I made an exception to my distance rules."

A moment's silence. Then, "Good."

Tsume snaps up to look at Hige, eyes wide. He blinks. "Hmm?"

Hige just grins toothily and snickers. "What are ya, deaf? I said that's good! That you broke your rules and paid attention, I mean. Otherwise, we might be in a lotta trouble right now with our runt." He softens, just a bit, reaching out to sift comforting fingers through Toboe's hair. "Seriously, you really helped us out. When I ran to get you guys, I was panicking, thinking maybe I totally screwed up and hurt the kid even worse..." He sighs heavily, and Tsume can see how much those thoughts really were weighing on him. It's in his slumped shoulders, tired expression, haunted eyes. "But then you came up with the answer like a Lunar Flower from Paradise." He smiles widely. "Thanks a lot, Tsume."

Thank goodness it's night or Tsume almost definitely wouldn't be able to hide the rather bright blush he's sporting. Huffing a laugh, he reaches over to ruffle Hige's hair roughly (but not as roughly as he normally would have). "You're just lucky my brain's the size of your stomach, Porky."

"Yeah, se— _hey_ , wait a minute!"

Laughter.

* * *

 

Half an hour later, Kiba's back with everything in one haul. Apparently, a nice older lady near the store saw him struggling a bit and offered a large knapsack she didn't need anymore. He'd accepted it gratefully and even her help folding most of the blankets into compact sizes so he could fit as much in the bag as possible. He'd brought back enough water, soup, and bread to last at least a few days and enough blankets (with some spare cloths thrown in) to cover each of them a few times over.

Helping him unpack everything they'll need right now, Tsume throws the two back their jackets and covers Toboe with three of the blankets up to his neck. The boy whimpers and tosses his head, trying to throw off the blankets, but Tsume carefully pins his arms to his chest. "I know, kid. I'm sorry," he sympathizes softly. "But these blankets should help you feel better, so I need you to leave them, okay?" There's still a little fight left in the boy's struggling limbs, and Tsume fractionally tightens his grip, lowers his voice that much more. "Do it for me?"

Toboe pauses, seems to hesitate, and then it shifts into an obedient pout as the fight leaves him entirely. Tsume sighs in relief and releases him, covering him back up and rubbing his arms gently where he held them. A small, proud, ridiculously-fond smile, almost a fiendish smirk, comes to his face. "That's my runt."

He turns to the others once Toboe starts falling back to sleep a few moments later, but he stops short when he notices Hige trying not to grin behind his hand (so  _cute_!) and the startlingly soft smile on Kiba's face. Again, thank Paradise it's night so they can't see his bright blush. He merely glares (he definitely does  _not_  pout!), mostly at Hige, and then goes on. "You think that's enough for now or should we add more?" While he was covering Toboe, he noticed the blankets were maybe a quarter-inch thick. "They're not the thickest, after all."

Kiba hums, looks over everything. He wishes he could have found something better, but…well, the world  _is_  ending (again)… "Maybe two more? If we need more, we can always add them, right? But if we start out short, we might as well not have put on any at all."

Hige frowns a bit, shrugging. "I don't know.  _You're_  the 'fever' authority here, Tsume." Moving around them, he sticks his hand under the blankets to feel how hot Toboe is now. He winces and takes it out, blowing on and shaking it out. "Sheesh! He's hot, all right, but not much more than before. I vote we put on at least two more. Better safe than sorry." Switching out Toboe's now warm and almost dry towel on his forehead for a cold, almost-dripping one, he wipes down his neck and face first. Some of the discomfort lines on Toboe's face smooth out, and Hige yawns. "That should hold him for a little bit." Rubbing his eyes, he says, "If I fall asleep, wake me up to check his wound and redress it in a few hours. Don't wanna take any chances."

Tsume looks between his two friends silently. They're tired from the stress and worry of the day. He doesn't blame them. He feels it, too. Of course he does. But he wants to stay with Toboe more than he wants sleep, so he doesn't mind staying up with him. "I'll wake you up, Hige. I'll stay with him. You two should get some sleep."

Hige raises an eyebrow, frowning deeply. " _All night_? Tsume, even you can't do that."

Kiba sets a hand on his shoulder, a small smile playing while his steady gaze never leaves Tsume's. "It's Tsume's decision, Hige. If he says he wants to keep watch, we'll let him. He'll be the best at watching over Toboe anyway."

Hige gives him an uneasy look. "Well,  _yeah_ , that's a given, but still…"

"I appreciate the concern, but I can handle it, Porky," Tsume breaks in, arms crossed lazily over his jacket-less chest. Taking a breath when Hige still looks unsure, he exhales helplessly. "Look, I'll stay awake long enough for you to check him, and then I'll sleep, but I'm not leaving him. Happy?"

The second-youngest is unimpressed. "It's a start."

Tsume snorts, then Hige, and then Kiba, and soon, they're all laughing. It's almost perfect.

When they get Toboe back, it will be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope it was all right! I waited a little bit to post this to see if Chapter 3 would get any attention, but...oh, well! lol. Chapter title is a reference to Ghel and his short life (and most importantly, his short time in Tsume's), in case anyone was wondering! Any feedback is greatly appreciated! Thanks so much for reading!


	5. Battle Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsume and Hige discuss the former's theory about their youngest having what the humans call 'PTSD.' Meanwhile, Toboe's past is a thing to be reckoned with as it haunts his nightmares, but Tsume is _more_ than up to the task.

Kiba's already headed out to take in the moonlight before he sleeps, and Hige's supposed to follow, but he stops short. He's frowning thoughtfully at Toboe. After several seconds, he speaks, voice quiet and unsure. "Hey, Tsume?" The silver wolf immediately snaps to look at him, chest tightening. He's only ever sounded like that when talking about his lost memories and what he did for Jaguara… "I never really…heard what happened with the kid and the old man… I mean, I know he got shot, obviously, but…you know, the specifics." He bites his lip, looks away. "Toboe told me how you saved him from the guy when you first met, but…" his expression twists in talking about this, but he has to get it out, "…hell, the kid basically stared down the barrels of  _two_ guns, the old man's  _and_  Darcia's, when he died last time… It's not…" his voice drops even lower, and Tsume's almost surprised there isn't a scorch mark on the ground from the heat of Hige's glare, "…i-it just…doesn't make sense…"

Tsume watches him for a long moment before he hums on a sigh. "I'm sorry. We should have explained it to you."

Hige settles cross-legged on Toboe's other side and smiles gently, hands moving inside his hoodie pocket. "Hey, in your defense, there was a lot going on." There's the smallest laughing undercurrent to his voice.

He feels victorious when it actually gets Tsume to smile a little bit. "True…" His eyes drift back to Toboe, and his smile falls, the space between his eyes pinching. "To be honest, there are still some things I don't really understand myself…but I can guess…"

He doesn't exactly sound  _happy_  about that, but Hige supposes nobody would be in this situation, especially with Toboe being Tsume's…well, for lack of a more fitting description, best friend. Regardless, color Hige intrigued. "Okay, so…what're you thinkin', big guy?"

A small smile coming at the new nickname, Tsume thinks back to the incident. He tells Hige everything he and Kiba saw in taking down Blue and the old man, what Toboe said to him, all of it. He knows Hige would want it, so he goes into as much detail as he can, never mind how the younger man winces at how Kiba quieted Blue. Hige has to know Kiba would do it as gently as he could, though, knowing what she means (meant?) to Hige.

By the time he's done, Hige looks more than a little pale and horrified, glancing frantically between Tsume and the kid, and it takes a minute before he can get a word past the secondhand panic clogging his throat. "Holy  _shit_ …!" he breathes, voice trembling the slightest bit. Tsume can see him curling shaking fists in his hoodie pocket. His gaze travels back to Toboe, looking conflicted and confused. "But why would he…? He could have fought back, could have… I mean, I know he and the old man have a complicated history, but…" Reaching out, he gently brushes his fingers through Toboe's bangs and long hair with a small sigh. "What the hell happened, kid…?"

Tsume silently studies the way he is with Toboe, then the boy himself. He remembers how reassuring and  _sure_  Toboe was with Hige when the older was having his identity crisis in Jaguara's Keep. Toboe's always paid attention to things the rest of them don't, read things in people and their personalities and never been afraid to praise or call them out on them. Hell, the kid did the latter with Tsume when they'd known each other for twenty minutes at  _best_. And back then, with Jaguara, Toboe and Kiba were the only ones really able to bring Hige back to himself after everything. Tsume wishes he could have done more himself,  _wanted_  to, but…he'd had his doubts. He wasn't alone in that, Kiba did, too, but good reasons be damned, he'd pushed and made his concerns more known, and…that put a strain on his and Hige's relationship toward the end. Luckily, they both did their best to patch it up before they died, and if he really thinks about it...it was only after Toboe's death that they were truly able to reconcile.

Once again, like pretty much everything good in his life (li _ves_ , really), Tsume's coming to realize…it's all because of Toboe.

Sheesh… When they first met, he never thought he'd be so lost on the kid, but…well, here he is. But if he's being honest? He wouldn't change a single damn thing about it.  _Any_  of it.

"So…you said you had theories…" Hige's slow, thoughtful voice snaps him out of his thoughts, and Tsume tunes back in to find Hige staring at Toboe as well. He must have been thinking, too. Good. Otherwise, well, it might have been awkward. Permission to keep going, even begging, is more than present in his packmate's tone.

Tsume nods stiffly, still a little startled to be back in reality and not quite sure how he'll take his ideas. "Y-yeah…" Gaze shifting back to their youngest, Tsume takes a breath. "Have you…ever heard of something the humans call PTSD?"

Hige raises an eyebrow at him, mouth scrunched up in thought. "I don't…think so… Why? 's it some kinda food?"

Tsume can't help but breathe a sudden laugh at that, caught off guard, but not surprised. "No, dumbass," he says, cuffing the other wolf upside the head gentler than he normally might. Hige smirks a trifle despite their conversation. Sobering, Tsume's fingers ghost over Toboe's wounded leg. He's never wished for healing magic before, but he'd take some of Cheza's right now gladly. Hell, even that Cher woman's medical advice would be appreciated. "According to some of my men, it stands for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. They said it's like a kind of…sickness in the brain some people develop in response to severe trauma. It usually mostly affects those who've fought in or been victims of war or some other kind of mass tragedy, but it can get to other people, too. One of my underlings was mauled by a dog as a kid, scarred physically and mentally, and whenever we came across one, he'd royally freak out. He shot one once, tried to shoot us when he lost his head completely. We'd have to drag him out of there after we managed to calm him down,  _if_  we could. If not, we did it kicking and screaming, fighting us all the way. And that's even  _if_  we could get close enough to touch him at all. It got pretty dangerous, even for me."

Hige's quiet, listening intently all the while. He doesn't really know what this has to do with Toboe, but…maybe the old man? Or both? Either way, he trusts that Tsume's getting there. This  _is_  about Toboe, after all.

"They said he definitely had it. But they also said it could manifest in different ways, too. It could be a silent, frozen kind of freak out, wide-eyed and trembling and possibly hurting themselves without realizing. They'll be there physically, but mentally, they're reliving the trauma. Breaking out of it is like…being able to breathe again when you've been drowning…"

Hige watches him carefully. If he didn't know any better, he'd say Tsume talks from experience—or maybe he's just reading too far into things. Whatever the case, his gaze zips back to Toboe, from his face to his leg and back. "So you think, the way he died, it might have—  _He_  might have— And the old man, too?"

Tsume hums in confirmation. He's catching on quicker than he thought. "That's my working theory, anyway." He holds up two fingers, ticking them off as he goes. "The old man has the first kind, the violent one. Toboe…" he clenches a fist so hard that his knuckles pop, nails almost break skin, "…well, from what I saw…he has the second…"

There's a kind of tense silence that settles here, both of them staring hard at Toboe with guilt and frustration and a particularly painful kind of devastation playing in their chests. Outside, having heard every word, Kiba feels it, too.

"Damn it…" Hige hisses, and Tsume glances over. He's looking at Toboe with such sad, angry eyes. "I wish…I wish there was something we could do for 'im… More, you know? I wish…" He gets that look in his eyes that tells Tsume he's remembering his own trauma at the hands of Jaguara, and it curls something so startlingly painful in Tsume's gut that he can't help but want to stop it in its tracks.

Reaching out, he lays a firm hand on Hige's shoulder. "Hey." The younger wolf turns at the deceptively stern tone of voice, the gentleness underneath drawing his attention. He's shocked and maybe a little helplessly awed to see the calm, confident smile on Tsume's face. "Don't look so defeated." Gaze moving back to Toboe, he squeezes Hige's shoulder. "If he was alone," like he was when Tsume first found him, "maybe we should worry. But he has us," has  _Tsume_ , "and he knows we won't let anything happen to him." Not again. A gentle thumb strokes a bead of sweat from Toboe's cheek. "We can't change what happened before, but we can make sure history doesn't repeat itself. If he needs us, we'll be there, and that's what matters."

Hige blinks, Kiba's smiling proudly outside, and then the younger wolf breaks out into a bright, toothy grin that has the set of Tsume's shoulders easing. Thank Paradise for that. "Yeah, for sure! Thanks, Tsume!" He laughs. "You know, you're sounding more and more like Kiba when you get all wise like that!"

Tsume raises an eyebrow at that last part before he huffs a laugh, smirking. "Yeah, maybe. Just don't tell  _him_  that. He'll get a big head."

Hige snorts, brushing himself off as he moves to stand. "Sure. Whatever you say." Softening for a moment in meeting Tsume's eyes again, voice following, he says, "Seriously…thanks for explaining everything. I think I understand things a lot better now." He looks back toward Toboe, melting all the more. "Take care of the runt for us. We'll be right outside if you need anything."

Tsume nods. "No problem." He smiles fondly. "Don't worry, I've got him. I'll wake you to change his bandage in a few hours. Thanks, Hige. Now go get some sleep before we're both up all night."

Yawning, the younger wolf heads out the door with a lazy wave. "G'night."

* * *

 

As promised, Tsume does wake Hige to redress Toboe's wound and change out his towel around midnight, and as he also promised, Tsume does do his best to get some sleep afterward. It's a bit restless and light, under the circumstances, but it's still a good sleep, and he's grateful for that.

" _No_! Granny, wait!"

But somewhere before dawn, that shatters.

Toboe's frantic, tearful shout startles Tsume awake instantly, gasping sharply and automatically reaching for his knife before he realizes what exactly woke him. The second he does, he's focusing all his attention on Toboe. The boy's tossing and turning, blankets halfway thrown off, and his breathing and heart rate are through the roof. He's drenched in sweat, there are tears running down his face, and his twisted,  _grieving_  expression is like multiple punches to Tsume's gut. "Toboe…"

Hesitating before reaching over to take his hand, Toboe's fingers twitch at Tsume's touch before recognizing and welcoming it, threading their fingers together. Tsume can't help the light blush that covers his cheeks at that, softening, then squeezing. He wants to tell him it'll be okay, but he doesn't know if that would be the right thing to do. When Gehl was sick like this and had nightmares, the others always told him it was safer to let him ride it out. He didn't really understand then, still doesn't now if he's honest, but those guys treated Gehl like a little brother, so he trusted their judgment. He still does. He'll trust their advice now, too.

"G-Granny…" Tsume snaps back to the present at Toboe's small, sad voice, wincing when it cracks. "I-I never meant… I-I just wanted to—to show you I loved you…t-that I was excited to see you and eat with you, but I… A-and Leara…your bird, I…I-I was just trying to…to impress you, I didn't… B-both of you…I-I'm so sorry…  _S-so_  sorry…"

Tsume's ears perk at that, finding himself leaning forward a little. He's always had his suspicions, ever since Toboe first told him about his Granny. Then the incident with Leara's bird pushed them along a little more, when he wanted to stay behind with those nomads in the desert even more, and finally…with how he died… Well, honestly…if he's right about what he thinks this is, he can't say he's really surprised. Horrified and crushed for Toboe's sake, but…God, he understands. Probably better than anyone else could.

"I never meant to kill anything…" It's a broken, guilty whisper, so much that if Tsume weren't a wolf, he's not sure he would have heard it, let alone made it out. Part of him wishes he didn't. "I-I'm so  _sorry_ …"

And there it is. That first line Tsume's heard before, back in the old world after he rescued Toboe from Leara. Now that he has all this, too…it's as good a confession as any. A lot of things are making a hell of a lot more sense now. Not that he's  _happy_  about it. Of course not. He's always known how Toboe struggles with hurting people when he doesn't mean to. Hell, Tsume himself struggles with it, too—a few accidentally-violent exchanges with the boy in question in that once-warzone from the old world come to mind—and he's almost sure, knowing how perceptive Toboe is, the kid has his own suspicions about that in relation to his past.

But having suspicions and  _knowing_  they're correct…those are two  _very_  different things. Especially when they make the silver wolf upset for two  _colossally_  different reasons.

"B-Blue…" Tsume jumps in surprise at that name, narrowing his eyes in confusion, "…I-I couldn't protect Pops…" He grimaces and curls his free hand into a tight fist, glaring at the ground with gritted teeth. Oh… _that's_  why… "Y-you asked me to look after him for you…I promised, a-and I tried, I  _swear_ …but I…I-I still let 'im  _die_ —!" He flinches at that sobbing break at the end, swearing his heart can't take much more. It's shattered enough already as is. "P-Pops, I…y-you forgave me…l-let go of your hatred, in the end, but… _I_  still can't…" Forgive himself. Yeah… Tsume knows how that feels, too… "Y-you held me…in the snow and when we were dying…" Tsume bites back a whine, "…and we were so happy…" Toboe gives another hissing sob. "I-I'm so sorry I couldn't—! I-I  _wanted_  to—!"

The tears are coming faster now, and Toboe has to take a few seconds to catch his breath. Tsume's almost glad. He has to remember to breathe entirely. A part of him wonders why the other two aren't here (he's sure they're hearing every word), but he knows it's probably half that they don't want to crowd the poor kid and half that Tsume will be the best at comforting Toboe. If he needs them, though, he knows they'll come running.

"I don't deserve your forgiveness… _any_  of you…" Toboe whispers, and Tsume swears his heart stops. "Pops and Blue…you don't remember anything… Y-you tried to kill me… T-there was no Granny here…or Leara…her bird… I…I-I was so  _alone_ —!" The end snaps off with a devastated sob, and Tsume rests his forehead against Toboe's hand he holds like a lifeline, squeezing his eyes shut as a violent shudder runs through him. He can't bring himself to be surprised when a few tears slip down his face.  _Jesus_ , kid…! The quietest, most sacred part comes last. "Is this…i-is this my punishment…?"

_Oh_ … Okay,  _that_  is it!

There's a choked sob, desperate and  _pained_ , and the next thing Tsume knows, he's hugging Toboe tightly, pressing his forehead into his chest. " _Okay_ …" he growl-breathes, low and guttural, halfway sobs; he supposes even  _he_  has a breaking point, "…okay, kid… That's enough… _please_ …" He doesn't think he can take any more, but more importantly, he doesn't think Toboe himself can either. "I don't know if you can hear me…but if you can, I need you to  _listen_ …you hear me…?"

Toboe, despite his still-flowing tears, is quiet, brow pinched. His head has stopped moving, is essentially facing him. Tsume takes that as cue enough to keep going. He just hopes he can get through to him.

"You're wrong… You're  _wrong_ , damn it…!" He shakes his head vehemently, not caring when the sweat soaking Toboe's clothes wets his face and hair. He's here and warm and  _alive_. That's the most important thing there is. " _No one_  blames you for anything…! No one is  _punishing you_  for anything…!"  _How_  can Toboe even think these things?!  _Why_  wouldn't he tell him?! The idea alone makes Tsume want to either be sick or tear something apart. "You can't control fate… You can't control what the universe brings you and what it takes away—!" All he can think of is Toboe being both for him, and it makes him choke on a sob. "The only thing you can control is what you  _do_  with your life, and  _none_  of what happened before was your fault! Not a  _damn_  thing! You did the best you could! That's all anyone can ask, you hear me, runt?!" He and Toboe haven't talked about their lives in this world before they all met up and regained their memories, but he will as soon as he thinks it's appropriate because,  _damn it_ …he is having a word with fate if it fucking kills him! "I  _promise_  you, Toboe…you will  _never_  be alone again! You have  _us_ , you have  _ **me**_! You don't  _ever_  have to question that!"

He almost jumps when Toboe's free hand comes up to touch his apparently-trembling shoulder, frozen as it moves up and up and  _up_  until…he melts as it starts to stroke his hair.  _Oh_ … He felt violated when Cheza did it in the old world, asleep or otherwise, but…he's entirely conscious here (though he realizes he'd  _gladly_  fall asleep like this) and feels like he's in Heaven… Figures it'd be because of Toboe…

His voice melts in kind. "Granny loved you, Toboe… She loved you so much, and she knows you'd never hurt her on purpose… Leara knows you didn't mean to hurt her bird by now, I'm sure… Blue and the old man… You  _did_  keep your promise to her, Toboe… You kept the old man as safe as you could,  _died_  to protect him, and you… _you_  are the one who turned him around in the end… That was  _all you_ , kid…!" Toboe's tears have slowed immensely by now, lower lip trembling in touched shock. "I know, if she were here with all her memories, she'd say the same thing. Probably a hell of a lot better than I am right now…"

He breathes a laugh, moving to rest his ear over Toboe's heart. Wouldn't you know…? Playing his favorite lullaby… Now he's  _really_  a goner… "Even if this world is different and new, and people we knew before aren't the same…we're all together, we  _remember_ , and we  _will_ reach Paradise this time. I can  _feel_  it." A heartbeat, two. "And until then, I'll keep you safe from the nightmares, Toboe…" he whispers,  _swears_ , into the dark. "Just trust me… Trust me like you always have..."

Because he knows, even if Toboe doesn't remember the story he told his body, how big of a deal  _trust_  is for both of them.

Toboe's heartbeat is steadying more and more as the seconds pass, his breathing evening out, too, hand in silver hair slowing. Tsume would look up to see if he's stopped crying for sure, but…well, looks like those hair and heartbeat tricks worked a little  _too_  well. He smiles in his almost-sleep, adjusting their positions so he's lying beside Toboe and carefully curling the boy close to his chest. Toboe, apparently intent on holding his hand like his life depends on it, turns to nuzzle into his chest farther than he usually would and curl a light fist in his shirt. Tsume breathes a laugh and, after blindly fixing the towel on his forehead, tucks the boy's head under his chin.

"Night, Toboe…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to make it clear in case anyone questions it, this is not meant to be Toboe/Tsume! (If you want to see it that way, though, hey, I can't stop you. There probably won't be any ships in this story, sans past!Hige/Blue, just FYI.) Tsume's just really scarred from losing Toboe last time (in a lot of ways) and doesn't want to hide how much he cares anymore (at least, not as much)!
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!


	6. Morning Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toboe's fever finally breaks, and he wakes surrounded by his pack. It's a good, relieving morning, and the older three in particular thank Paradise for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been _forever_ , but almost immediately after my last update, I worked my ass off for 71 days, one day off in all of that, so I was understandably _exhausted_. I've been working a ton since then, too, still recovering from said exhaustion, hence why I still haven't had the energy to write, though I _really_ wanted to. Plus, writer's block was no help (knew what I wanted to write, but the right words wouldn't come). So now that I _finally_ gathered all that and beat back the writer's block (actually trying to take a WELL-deserved vacation from all 2.5 jobs soon), I spent the last two days hashing out this latest chapter. Hope it's all right!

It's before dawn, too early for even Kiba to be awake, when Toboe's fever breaks at last. He wakes up several minutes after, ever so slowly, mind foggy and eyes not much better. He waits for both to clear, yawning and looking around while he tries to remember where he is.

After another minute or two, he's alert enough to start investigating. It's pitch black outside, a smattering of stars dotting the sky through the triangular doorway, and he takes in the rest of the little hut from there. That's right... His pack's makeshift little hideaway. And if he's here, he knows his pack won't be far away.

Of course, it's only then that he realizes, heart leaping to his throat, that he's not alone. It's not something that would have slipped by usually, especially not dead last, but…well, he'll blame it on how odd he feels. Why is there a wet…cloth on his forehead? Why is he so sweaty? He tries to move, but pain radiates up his left leg, and he hisses and chokes back a pained grunt, reflexively reaching toward it—

Which just makes the someone with him, apparently holding him now that Toboe registers the arms around his back and fingers tangling a bit in his hair, pull him closer, almost protectively. For a split second, Toboe's heart pounds.  _Who_  could—?!

Wait…! He  _knows_  that smell. He knows that silver hair and that…that scar on his chest… "T-Tsume…" he breathes, stilted and startled at first, but so very relaxed in the next moment, it's like he was never afraid at all. Oh, thank goodness…! He looks his packmate over. He doesn't look so great. Wait… Has he been with him  _all night_?! But why—?

All at once, he remembers the pain in his leg, and his encounter with Quent and Blue comes rushing back. Getting shot, Tsume and Kiba coming to his rescue after he froze. He's still not sure  _why_  he froze, why the former two didn't recognize him, but…

Suddenly, with that train of thought, his nightmares come hurtling back, too. But after that…he also swears he remembers  _Tsume_  being there, pulling him away from all the voices, all the truths and guilt and  _pain_ , prying his hands from his ears to hug him instead and replace them all with reassurance and forgiveness and a gentleness he can't  _hope_  to describe. Tears sting his eyes, a few of them slipping past his defenses. He's…  _Paradise_ , Tsume…! " _T-thank you_ , Tsume…" he breathes, barely that, not wanting to wake him, after all. He's sacrificed enough sleep for him already.

Hesitating for a half-second, Toboe wraps his arms around Tsume as carefully as he can, nuzzling into his chest again all too happily. Tsume doesn't seem to object as he pulls him even closer, and Toboe's smile turns into an outright beam, his hold tightening just a little as he burrows in a few millimeters more. He's not sure Tsume would really allow this or continue cuddling him if he were conscious (at least not so blatantly), so he's going to take this for all it's worth.

Once he's comfortable, Toboe closes his eyes and takes deep, even breaths. Tsume's scent fills his nose, but if he concentrates hard enough, he can smell the others right outside, too. Good. He's glad they're safe. Toboe lets that knowledge lull him to sleep, out like a light in seconds. This is the best, most restful sleep either of them has had in a long time.

Outside, Kiba is smiling softly. He's been awake for a while, watching the moon and keeping an ear out for Toboe. He sighs silently at these developments, altogether adoring, some of the tension leaving his shoulders. Whatever happens this time around, he knows those two will always have each other, and he's glad for it.

No one should have to be alone.

* * *

It's a few more hours before Toboe wakes up again.

"Hey, look! He's waking up!" he hears Hige tell the others quietly, the excitement in his voice getting a fond, relieved hum from Kiba, and someone takes his hand as he immediately kneels at his side. That's Tsume. He can tell from the callouses, sure, but even then…he'd just know. That's how they work.

Opening his eyes is a bit more of a chore this time than last, but Toboe attributes that to not having nightmares to interrupt his deeper sleep. When he finally does, he has to blink several times to be able to see, and the first thing he does is exactly what he'd want: his friends.

"Hey, buddy!" Of course Hige is the first one to greet him, already so eager about it, his toothy beam almost blinding. Toboe doesn't mind. "Good to have you back!"

Kiba, of course, is quieter, but no less relieved and overjoyed. There's a softness in his face that makes Toboe's eyes widen and breath catch. "Toboe…" He says his name like it's a prayer he's been saying all night. Maybe he has. "You had us worried. I'm glad you're all right."

Tsume squeezes his hand, his voice calling for attention, but gentle underneath, too. "Hey." Toboe looks over, and he's pleasantly surprised to find Tsume's other hand ruffling his hair in the next second. The boy smiles, breathes a stuttered, weak laugh. "How do you feel?"

Toboe opens his mouth to answer, but it's so dry that he just coughs and grimaces. Hige rummages around for a moment and then comes closer with a small water bottle in his hand. "You're probably parched. Here. This'll help." Helping him sit up a bit and supporting his head, Tsume's hand on his back just in case, he lets Toboe drink, standing by if he needs him. He's a little shaky, but mostly does fine, and Hige's grinning even more by the time he's done. "How's that? Better?"

Having Tsume help him sit up the rest of the way, Toboe takes a deep breath and sighs in relief before smiling brightly at his packmate. "Much! Thanks, Hige!" His voice is still a little scratchy from disuse and crying, but it could be worse.

If there could be stars and colored lights floating in the background behind him, Toboe's sure there would be. Hige looks like he's just been given the world's biggest slab of meat. "'Course! No problem!"

Remembering Tsume's question, he turns to find the older wolf still staring at him intently, waiting almost on bated breath for his answer. Softening a bit, he squeezes the hand Tsume holds, a fond smile on his lips. "I feel…mostly fine, I think." It's only now that he notices the towel's gone from his forehead. The others must have taken it off when they noticed his fever was broken. He glances down at his leg. "My leg still hurts, but not as much as it did earlier. I could still see the moon then, so I think its light might have helped." But  _walking_  on it…he's not so sure about that…

Tsume must see that in his expression because, after sighing through his nose (in relief), the next thing he asks is, "Can you walk?"

A frowning almost-pout crosses Toboe's face as he eyes his bandages for a moment, then shrugs. "I don't know." He's a little nervous to try – mostly because, if he can't, won't he just slow them down? He doesn't want to be a burden on them…

Tsume interrupts his worried thoughts with an offered hand. "Well, we'll never know if you just sit there." Toboe looks up at his friend curiously, and Tsume's serious, yet soft expression gives him pause. Touched affection curls in his chest. "Hold on to me. I'll take you as far as we can go." He blinks. That sounds…familiar somehow… He swears he heard something like that in the old world…

Pushing that aside for later, he shakes his head to clear it and nods determinedly, taking Tsume's hand. "R-right!" After all, he made a promise to them last time, didn't he? He swore he wouldn't whine or run away anymore. This is the same thing. He won't slow them down either.

Going slowly, Tsume supports him with forearms under his and hands cradling his elbows. Toboe actually gets farther than he thought he would, almost all the way up, before the pain becomes too much. " _Ow_!" He hisses sharply and squeezes one eye shut, lifting his bad leg reflexively and regretting it when his knees buckle. He gasps and braces himself, but Tsume's latching an arm around him in a second. It takes Toboe a heartbeat to get his breath back, sighing with relief. "Th-thanks, Tsume… Sorry."

Tsume squeezes him a little in lowering them both to the ground again. "Don't be stupid," he tosses back, no heat behind it, and Toboe looks up at him once they're settled. Tsume doesn't  _look_  disappointed. In fact, if he didn't know any better, he looks almost…!

A proud smirk breaks out on the older wolf's face, and he reaches out to ruffle red hair with his free hand. Light laughter colors the air between his next words. "You really have gotten stronger!"

The beam those words invoke is worth everything.  _This_  is why they fought so hard for him. This is why they will  _always_  fight for him, do  _anything_  to keep him safe—just like they know Toboe would for them. It took them a while to figure it out, warm up to and actively practice it, but… _this_  is what it means to be a pack.

And with the waking morning's light bathing him, Toboe looks even more striking than usual, his bracelets glittering in the sun.

It's beautiful.

_He_  is.

Softening, the three older wolves collectively share a single thought:  _Thank Paradise he's still with us_.

Digging around in the bag again, Hige turns back to Toboe, looking sympathetic. "I'm gonna have to redo your bandages, especially if we plan on clearing out now that the old man knows we're in town, so try not to move, okay? You should be healing all right as is, but I don't wanna take any chances. You don't have to watch if you don't want to."

Toboe nods, biting back a grimace as he stretches out his leg a little more to give Hige better access. He tries to lean this way and that to see inside the bag behind his friend, but he can't see much of anything. He thinks he smells chemicals…? "What's in the bag, Hige? Did you find some herbs somewhere?" he asks, curious if there's anything he knows.

Hige chuckles, a regretful half-grin on his face. "Man, I  _wish_." He shakes his head. "Nope, sorry. We were without our resident Herb Specialist," he gives Toboe a teasing, proud look, which just makes the boy flush and duck his head shyly, a delighted little smile on his face, "so we had to make do with more…'conventional' human methods." Toboe makes a mental note to gather some herbs when they're in a forest next, just in case. "We've been going on memories and instinct alone here, so don't expect anything miraculous, but I think we've been doin' pretty well so far. You're still alive, aren't ya?"

It's meant to be a joke, but Hige regrets the words as soon as they're out of his mouth. Freezing, he watches Toboe closely.

For his part, Toboe definitely feels a momentary stab of… _something_  in his chest, and he  _definitely_  sees Kiba and particularly Tsume tense out of the corner of his eye, the latter glaring at Hige, who winces…but it's fine, really. He died. They  _all_  died. And it's sad, it's awful, but…that's why they're here in this new world, and it's why they can all be together again. So…Toboe doesn't see it as the kind of taboo the others are making it out to be. He just…sees it as life. Because it  _was_.  _His_  life. And he's okay with it. He's accepted it.

He grins triumphantly and nods. "You bet!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this chapter doesn't feel too different/disjointed from the others after so long, but please let me know what you think either way! Would love any feedback! Thanks so much for reading!


	7. While You Were Sleeping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Backstory catharsis chapter. Even before reuniting, the Paradise Pack are drawn to each other without even realizing. And when they finally remember each other and come together? It feels like home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (It's my birthday, and finishing this was my present to myself! lol.)
> 
> As the summary suggests, this is the backstory chapter! Been really excited to show this to you guys (espec Toboe's, which is ACTUALLY the very first thing I ever wrote for this fic over a year ago)! This chapter is like a catharsis of sorts, showing what their lives were like before meeting up and then how they met up one by one and remembered each other and who they were (coming from what little we see of them in the new world that's shown at the very end of the WR anime).
> 
> The title is a reference (to a romantic comedy(?)) that I thought kinda fit, 'sleeping' in this case referring to 'while they didn't remember the old world and their past lives.' I assume in the new world, they think they're humans (maybe not normal, but still human), and they only remember the truth when find each other. With Kiba as the possible exception 'cause Kiba. Also, they might act a little differently pre-reunion because different world, different circumstances until they remember who they REALLY are. (Creative liberties and all that.) (On that note, if they seem to do and say some of the same things here with each 'new' pack member, it's intentional - they're playing off each other! The omission of names when meeting 'new' packmates UNTIL they regain their memories is also intentional!)
> 
> Really hope this isn't too boring! Tried to make it as interesting and all as possible! We'll get back to our regularly scheduled Paradise journey in the next chapter!

Toboe doesn't remember a time he wasn't on the streets.

He doesn't remember his parents, if he even had any (and yeah, he knows that sounds weird, but hear him out). He doesn't remember being a baby or growing up. Hell, he doesn't even know his own birthday or remember celebrating it at all. He  _does_  know he's around seventeen or eighteen years old, just based on his height and body's development and other things he knows from other humans (and he met a doctor once who helped him figure it out, examined him in lieu of pay and told him what she found (though she also found it  _curious_  as all hell that he didn't have any medical records, wasn't even in the  _system_ ; he'd made an excuse and bolted after that, of course)). He makes what little money he can by helping his 'neighbors' (really anyone around the city he _can_ help) with any chores, errands, babysitting, or anything they'll have him do, really. He spends his nights where he can, always alone and always just...being.

He knows it's strange, all of it. He supposes it should fill him with a sense of loneliness or purposelessness, maybe both, but...he literallydoesn't  _know_  anything else. For him, it's... _normal_. Every day is the same.

Except, apparently, today.

Something's been nagging at him all day. Ever since he woke up – before that, technically, since a nightmare he can't remember jolted him awake hours before sunrise, a name (Tsukino? Natsume?) on his lips – he's felt a kind of... _pull_  in his chest. It's like it wants him to go somewhere, do something, find someone, but he doesn't know the answers to any of those questions. He  _wishes_  he did. Maybe, if he could just start with one answer, he'd find the others soon after, and then... Well...maybe he wasn't  _fully_ truthful before. Maybe he  _does_  feel listless and futureless at times. He doesn't know who he  _is_  - so how can he know where he's going,  _if_  he's going to end up anywhere? If he could just find this  _one_  thing...maybe things would  _finally_  start changing.

He's been trying to follow the pull all day, feeling it get stronger at points, weaker at others. The strong ones, he does his best to follow, but the second he thinks he's close, it fades again. It's like whatever he's following is sentient, keeps moving, like it's playing a game – or even, perhaps, it doesn't know it's pulling at him at all? Finally, he decides to take a break when it rains for a several minute stretch, following the dirty, wet scent and sad sounds to an adorable homeless kitten he finds in a cardboard box. He picks up the tiny thing ever so carefully, no more than a month old at most, and holds it to his chest, where it can be warm and safe and dry for at least a few minutes. Once the rain stops and it's purring happily against his chest, half asleep, Toboe very gently slips it back into the nest of mostly-clean rags he’d just finished building. He feels guilty for leaving it here, where it might never be found and adopted like it deserves, so he carries its box out to a canopied section of the main road. That way, it'll have a much better chance.                                

Smiling softly as he pets it one more time, he doubles back the way he came. After all, his break's over, and the just-remembered pull in his chest is stronger now than it's been all day. He speeds up, steps light and fluid, the pull getting almost  _painful_  the farther he goes—

Toboe stops dead. There's someone else at the opening of the alleyway, right in front of him. He's far away, but Toboe can still make him out well enough. A good few heads taller than Toboe, lean, well-muscled, very tan skin, silver hair with a small sprig pulled back in a ponytail. There's an X-shaped scar on his chest. He looks just as confused as Toboe is. A few times in the span of moments, Toboe considers turning tail and leaving like he was never there. He's sure the other man will do the same. After all, they're  _strangers_. He's never even  _seen_  this guy before.

But something, some inborn instinct he wouldn't disobey if his life  _depended_  on it, is telling him to wait, to look, to  _trust_ —

And then they lock eyes.

Instantly, all at once, memories flood into Toboe's head, and he's sure it must be happening to this man, too. Memories of...of  _him_ , of this man, of—of another world, their life together before this one,  _friends_ , a  _pack_ , a journey, a purpose...and  _dying_ , him and this man,  _brutally_ , just short of reaching their goal. Hot tears are blazing trail after trail down his face, the other man's, too, there's no stopping them, and before he knows it, he's back on Earth, in his own head, and though he stumbles, he's more than quick to right himself.

 _Tsume's_  name is a happy, broken cry on his lips as he bolts for the other man faster than he ever has, his feet scarcely even touching the ground, and when they're  _finally_  together again, Toboe swears he will  _never_  let him go. His arms are wrapped so tightly around Tsume's middle, he's surprised the man can even breathe, curling his fists in his familiar leather jacket as much as he can, burying his face in his chest while his entire body wracks with free-flowing tears and harsh sobs. He can hear Tsume's heart beating in his ear, his body's warm, he's safe and  _alive_... After everything they've been through, this is the most cathartic moment he's had in what feels like centuries.

"I missed you, Tsume...!" he sobs into Tsume's chest a good few minutes later, the first chance he gets back the smallest semblance of control. "I-I didn't even know who you  _were_...but I...I still  _missed_ you...!" He laughs at himself, more of a sob, really, but he's so  _happy_ , if still so totally confused. "I-it doesn't make any  _sense_...!"

Tsume is quieter, of course, more into feeling and smelling and _knowing_ his closest friend is here, curled protectively against his chest, _safe_ and _alive_. There's a deep, reassuring, altogether adoring rumble in Tsume's chest, felt _and_ heard, as he allows himself this moment to bury his face in Toboe's hair. He needs this, and he knows Toboe won't judge him.

Indeed, Toboe just smiles wider and holds on tighter, squeezing his eyes shut as more tears fall. He's learned to read him well enough to know what he's not saying. Toboe turns into his chest, angles up a little more till it's his neck, and breathes him in.

Collectively, they think, _He's_ _okay..._

* * *

“We _would_ find him stuffing his face.”

Hige stiffens at that sarcastic, edging familiar tone, clutching the paper grocery bags in his arms to his chest as he turns around. “Hey, I paid for these fair and square, so if you’ve got a problem, you can—!”

He stops short, blinking. It’s a ratty-looking little kid and…well, some kind of leather enthusiast, if not a prostitute or something. If his hands were free, Hige’d be scratching his head right now. “Uh…can I help you two?”

The boy steps forward, a kind of desperation in his expression that, for whatever reason, makes Hige’s stomach twist. “Hige, it’s us! Don’t you remember?”

The man puts his hand out to stop the boy from getting any closer. The kid looks up at him, confused and concerned, but understanding, too. The silver one’s eyes never leave Hige. It’s starting to weird him out. Hell, this whole thing is. Does he really think he’d hurt a runt like him? He has _some_ standards, thank you. “Uh, sorry, but…should I?” Hige takes a small step back, ready to turn tail and run if he has to. “More importantly, how exactly do you know my name? You’re not some kind o’ stalkers, are ya?”

“Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t remember me,” the man demands suddenly – well, okay, maybe it’s a little softer than that, more of a firm request, but still – and Hige and the boy both give him looks.

“Hey, isn’t that a little weird, Mr. Leather Fetish?”

“Yeah, don’t freak him out.”

“I know how it sounds, all right?” the older growls, glancing at them both before settling on Hige again, crossing his arms over his chest. He takes a breath and sighs roughly, his voice calmer when he speaks up again. “But just hear me out. You’ve felt a kind of tug in your chest all day, right? It’s varied in strength, but right now, I’m guessing it’s pretty damn strong. Maybe even got pretty painful just before we showed up?”

Eyes widening, Hige goes still, discerning. Alarm bells sound in the back of his head. Where is this coming from? Why… _how_ does this guy know that? A flash of fearful anger shoots down his spine. “Okay, now _that’s_ creepy.” He wants to drop his bags in favor of running, even fighting, but he _just_ bought all this, and he’s still hungry, damn it. This weird feeling in his chest’s been driving him crazy, so he figured, after trying to follow it didn’t work out, he’d eat it away. “What the hell kind of game are you playing?”

Hige’s watching his every move like a hawk, so the older man is careful to go slowly in raising his hands and shaking his head. “I’m not trying to play anything. I’m trying to get you to remember.”

It’s Hige’s turn to growl this time. “Remember _what_ , damn it?!”

“Just do what I said, and it should all make sense.”

Hige couldn’t look more unimpressed if he tried. “‘ _Should_?’”

The other shrugs and sets his hands on his hips, sighing again. Kiba would be better at this than he would. Hell, even Toboe. “It’s not an exact science, okay? Just humor me and do it.”

The kid beside him nods eagerly. “I want you to remember, too, Hige!” He looks away, almost shy, before coming back, hopeful and soft, smile matching. “I want…I want to be a pack again...”

And, well, Hige doesn’t know what to say to _that_. What does that even _mean_? But back to what the other one said. Hige opens his mouth to ask why he should, they’re _strangers_. But at the same time, he doesn’t know…something inside him is…

Balancing one of his bags on his bent leg for a moment, he takes the time to scratch his head. He’ll take the risk of dropping it if it means time to think. Despite his misgivings, something’s telling him to listen to these guys, and if they really have been feeling the same things he has all day, then maybe…?

Finally, he sighs loudly, long-sufferingly. So, all he has to do is look ‘em in the eyes, right?

He starts with the older one, just like he asked, even if part of him still feels like this is some freaky pseudo-science bullsh—

Amber meets gold, and suddenly, memories hit him like a freight train. Another world, another life, friends and a dangerous journey and a purpose…a nice flower smell, flower _girl_ —a she-half-wolf who was…his mate ( _Blue_ …?!), some humans, and he—he betrayed his pack without meaning to, did his best to make it right—and then, in the end…!

He’s shaking, more and more as the seconds pass, eyes wide and teary and unseeing, face pale. The contents of one of his bags spills at his feet. Then, his eyes snap to the worried-looking boy’s, and he _can’t_ keep the tears back now. No way in hell. His tremors worsen, heart pounding a mile a minute in his chest, breathing choked by the tears that burn down his face, and by the time the memories’ assault is over, he’s surprised he’s still standing.

But he doesn’t question it, and he’s certainly not gonna waste it. He lunges toward them immediately, second bag long forgotten. “ _Tsume_! _Toboe_!”

A tearful Toboe all too happily follows suit and throws his arms around Hige’s middle with a cry of his name, while Tsume is content to catch the two idiots when Hige’s momentum inevitably brings them into his arms. His smile is as wide and bright as theirs, tears smarting at the corners of his eyes. They stay like that, holding each other, for a long few moments, just taking each other in.

_Thank Paradise…_

When they finally separate, Hige has more questions than his mouth can hold, and he can’t get enough of touching them, one hand moving over Tsume’s shoulder while the other ruffles Toboe’s hair. “Have you found Kiba yet? Is he okay? Are you guys?” Turning to Toboe, he circles his arms around his shoulders and drops his forehead to rest on his with a heavy sigh of relief and an affectionate nuzzle. The youngest closes one eye and grins joyfully as he returns it, a little laugh coming through. “Geez, runt… Don’t you dare do that to us again!”

Toboe hugs him around the chest, a tiny pout on his lips even as he chuckles. “H-hey, I’m taller this time around, older, too! Don’t start that ‘runt’ stuff again!”

Hige’s response is a headlock and a noogie, making Toboe squawk. “Sorry, kid, but you’ll always be our runt! No changin’ that! It’s practically law!” He laughs, and Toboe, holding on to his arms, sighs resignedly.

Tsume watches them with a soft smile on his face. “To answer your questions, we’re both fine. We haven’t found Kiba yet, though. We actually just found each other an hour or so ago and went looking for you two right after. I’m guessing you haven’t seen him either, then? And what about you?” He looks Hige over once, twice. He must think Hige doesn’t notice the way he avoids looking anywhere near his neck. “Are you okay?”

Hige nods. “Just fine. But if we’ve all been feeling this, I’m sure that means he has, too, so maybe he’s already looking for us. Maybe all of us being together’ll make the pull stronger somehow? In any case, hopefully it’ll be easier to find each other this way.” Moving back to his fallen bags, he looks back at them over his shoulder. “We should bring this stuff, too, at least what we can. No use starting a journey without food, right?” He chuckles. “Plus, knowing that one track-minded idiot, he’s probably been surviving on moonlight alone for Paradise knows how long...”

* * *

“He-hey! Look what the cat dragged in! Looks like he listened to my advice from last time even without his memories!”

Kiba stops at the knowing, amused voice, particularly those last words, turning on his heel halfway to look at three young men behind him. A spike of…something shoots through him at seeing them, like a breath of familiarity or a hiss of something he should remember, but he can’t place it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I’m just passing through and not really in the mood to fight, so if you’ll excuse me…”

He starts turning back, makes it a few steps, and then—

“You’re going to Paradise, aren’t you?”

Kiba stops on a dime, shoulders hunching. How…how could he…? He turns back to the oldest, eyes wide, then narrowed. “How do you know that? What’s it to you anyway?”

“We’re on our way there, too.” Golden eyes also narrow meaningfully. “And in the last world, we traveled together as a pack.”

Kiba’s heart pounds for what feels like the first time in…he can’t remember how long. Something about this is…speaking to him…but why? He’s always been looking for Paradise, for as long as he can remember, but it hasn’t always been just that. It’s been something more, too, though he’s never known what it could be. But looking at them… Could _they_ be it, the missing piece…?

His gaze moves over them slowly, carefully, lips drawn in a thin line. “How do I know I can trust what you’re saying?”

“Look in our eyes,” the youngest offers hopefully, taking a few steps forward before the oldest sets a firm, protective hand on his shoulder, watching Kiba closely. Why does this feel almost familiar, too? “I know how it sounds, but it’s—it’s how you get your memories back. Please?” His face is so earnest that it makes Kiba want to give him everything in the world and more. It’s an odd, new, yet almost familiar feeling, one he doesn’t quite understand. “Just try it and see! For us?”

He raises an eyebrow at the others, who nod and shrug from oldest down. The one carrying the food is the one who speaks up, eyes closed serenely. “It sounds weird, I know, but the kid’s right.” He opens one eye and rubs leisurely under his nose. “What’d’ya really have to lose anyway?”

Kiba considers. Well...he _does_ have a point. Turning toward them all the way, planting his feet, Kiba sighs lightly through his nose. He’ll start with the little one, the one doing funny things to his heart. “All right. Have it your way.”

Honestly? It hits harder than he thought it would, each member of the pack in different ways, and by the end, he’s on his knees, clutching his head, hands fisted in his hair, breathing hard as tears stream down his face. In the end, though, he looks up at them again once it’s over. They’re worried, hate hurting him like this, necessary or not. Toboe looks like he’d be at his side already if it weren’t for Tsume’s protective hand on his shoulder, cautious eyes watching Kiba closely.

Once he’s calmed down, Kiba sniffs and uses his sleeve to dry his eyes and face as much as he can, then moves to stand on somewhat shaky legs. Taking a deep breath, he looks over at them again. The beam that slowly blooms on his face is the brightest thing any of them has ever seen, so much that it steals their breath. “Hey, guys…”

That’s their cue. Toboe and Hige throw themselves forward. “ _Kiba_!”

The force of their hug nearly knocks him flat, but he steadies them, holding them close and nuzzling them and laughing, a few more tears falling for each of them. The younger two are filling him in on their lives here and reunions, and he’s listening all too happily, so very fond and relieved. All the same, his eyes drift to their last packmate after a good few seconds. The older wolf is still standing apart from them, still watching him closely.

Tsume blinks, though, when Kiba opens an arm for him, leading the other two to follow, toothy grins lighting their faces. A light blush colors his cheeks, but then he sighs with a smile and runs headlong into the embrace, throwing his arms around all of them and letting himself nuzzle in.

 _Finally_ …!

Their pack is complete again.

Their journey restarts here.

And they _will_ make it to Paradise this time.

No matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couldn't quite fit Hige and Tsume's backstories in here without it feeling weird, so Hige was maybe a thief, but did try to be honest most of the time. Tsume maybe ran a small gang or was a broody loner.
> 
> Any feedback would be much appreciated! Thanks so much for reading!


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